I can't take it anymore

I feel the water flooding my eyes, and like always i can do nothing to avoid it.
I'm afraid that my inability to stand up to your painful words, and to carry them with me everywhere i go without screaming how unfair they are is killing me and my future, because i can't do any of them right, i can't tell you how forced i feel by you and your polite insults that destroy my soul, because i'm afraid of the consequences, but i also can't be quiet about it, because my heart would beat out of my chest, full of the impatience i feel for telling you how hurted i'm am when you say i'm annoying, or even when you are so clear by your actions that you don't like me at all.
I don't want you to get upset because of me as i don't want to get upset by you.
The thing is that i held everything for so many time that i blowed, and now i can't explain you what i feel without getting you angry.
I guess right now i just crossed your line, like you crossed mine some months ago.
But i'll remain still and sick, because after all i realised i'm afraid of you.
And that's pulling me down.